but why would we ever remove the wisest of our teeth
- Me: *sings Let It Go in the shower*
- Me: *drops the soap and slips and falls*
- Me: Or don't let it go.
My parents aren’t home
You know what that means
*sits in the living room instead of sealing myself away in my room*
this is too accurate
*parents close the door*, *emerges slowly from room like an easily startled deer*
*Parents come home* *scurries back to room like frightened squirrel*
Y’all think this is a joke but it’s 100% accurate
Wtf the Apple Store doesn’t even sell fruit
FACT OF THE NIGHT: owls are the smartest birds, able to speak over 22 bird languages. most owls graduated top of their class at bird school, which is for birds
I always read FAQ as fack and I don’t plan on changing this
I’m so unphotogenic what am I going to do when I’m famous
let the media make you photogenic…
Filming a rainbow when suddenly.
- Uterus: oh you have a completely full day of activity??
- Me: don't
- Uterus: and a sleepover afterwards??
- Uterus: hardly any breaks??
- Uterus: wouldn't it be a shame
- Uterus: if something were to
- Uterus: happen